Tuesday, March 05, 2013

i am proud neither of what i have done nor what i am doing...

If you're like me or everyone I know, you use your phone to look up people on TV while you watch TV or discuss TV. It's a very distracting habit, but the skill once allowed my mother to figure out that Keifer Sutherland was sitting at the next table.

Tonight I am watch 'A Few Good Men' because it is on TV and it's the kind of movie you have to watch when it's on TV. My mother is now screaming at her computer, "Keifer Sutherland is in that movie and I saw him at dinner in New York!" In addition to Keifer Sutherland, the movie features one of my favorite character actors, J. T. Walsh. I always remember Jack Nicholson dedicated his 1998 Oscar to J.T. Walsh, who had just and very suddenly died. So here I am, watching AFGM and I start thinking about J. T. Walsh and decide to Google him.

First interesting fact: J. T. Walsh was born in San Francisco and lived here until he was 5. Neat!

Second interesting fact: J. T. Walsh died of a heart attack at he age of 54, "while a guest of the Optimum Health Institute, a spiritual detoxification clinic in Lemon Grove, California."

(As I write this, J. T. Walsh is in his character's full Marine dress uniform and about to kill himself. And... he's gone.)

Obviously I had to look up the Optimum Health Institute, which I assumed was rehab for chemical addiction. It is not. I'm pretty excited about the Optimum Health Institute where J.T. Walsh died, and obviously, clearly, want to spend at least one week and up to four weeks there.

Basically, one goes to the OHI to cleanse the body, quiet the mind, and renew the spirit. There is a campus near San Diego and one near Austin, and both of them look like religious retreat compounds. The accommodations are not glamorous (think burgundy and cream-colored quilts) and some rooms have a shared bathroom. The first French I ever learned was 'en suite' and there is no way I can share a bathroom with strangers. I wonder if J. T. Walsh did? There are no TVs or "radios" and only some rooms have WiFi. Also, there are no hairdryers! But they have natural body-toiletry stuff if you're so hell bent of smelling nice.

What do you do all day? I'm so glad you asked. There are core classes, and then classes for each week of your stay. I think you stay by the week, and you don't have to sleep there if you don't want to. (I do.)
Many, many, many of the classes have to do with wheatgrass.

Then, there's this, which is the second reason I really want to go here:

"You" validation
Learn to find the friend in your mirror. Participate in this loving class, where fellow guests share qualities they like about you. All you have to do is say "Thank you" and smile. Discover how giving and receiving validation are equally important.

There is also "vocal toning" which is an ancient practice of screaming while you meditate or similar.

Finally, I really want to attend (and obviously Emcee) "Friday Night Live" where you "share your personal gifts. Demonstrate a skill, sing a song, share a poem, act in a skit, or dance for joy. Enjoy camaraderie, laughter, and friendship in this night of celebration." Just imagine the type of people who go to this place "demonstrating a skill or reading a poem." Oh, the spectacular agony.

How amazing would it be if you went to the Optimum Health Institute to get a bunch of color irrigation, compliments, and wheat grass and J. T. Walsh is there too, starring in Friday Night Live and dropping dead? It would be amazing.

And now, back to A Few Good Men...


Lisa said...

You are so right about always having to watch it! I saw it listed and resisted because I just watched the last 45 minutes recently. And thank you for this. Amazing. Truly.

Occasional Commentor said...

Sounds like Vallombrosa, which failed to yield spiritual enlightenment on senior retreat, but did have an excellent, secular salad bar.