Wednesday, January 16, 2013

please note the fitted choir robe...

I'm back at the gym because Jesus, I'm getting old. And I've discovered I can set up my iPhone on the elliptical machine and watch HBO Go, thus making my cardio fly by. I've been doing this for two whole days, so I think this good habit has a shelf life about about a week.
Naturally, I started watching "Joyful Noise" starring Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton. I am 30 minutes into it and if you were at 24 Hour Fitness, you would've seen my singling and clapping along to a gospel choir version of "Man in the Mirror." Needless to say, I am loving Joyful Noise and it will most likely be the one reason I end up at the gym tomorrow.
The premise, at least thus far, is QL and DP both trying to be the head diva is a small Georgia town's church choir. What, I ask you, is not to like? And why are there not more movies based on women in Southern gospel choirs?

Here are some PG-13 plot ideas for big time Hollywood producers because there are never missing niches I would like to see filled:

Romantic Comedy about sporting event concessionaires in Philadelphia. It could be called something like, "Get Your Peanuts!" and it should star Tony Danza, Renee Russo, and Dave Chappelle. Tony and Renee obviously end up together in a big scene at the end during the World Series or similar.

Slapstick comedy about the cast of characters all working over the course of one day at an H&M in suburban Chicago called, "Six Item Maximum." It will star a bunch of famous teenagers I don't know, Taylor Swift as the bitchy store manager, Chris Colfer from Glee, and a cameo by Justin Beiber. At one point, there will be a hold-up.

An ensemble cast of elderly actors goes on a motorcoach tour of British castles. Along the way, they bicker, some fall in love, and their hapless tour guide, played by Paul Reubens (I know, right? How excited are you?) keeps screwing up. It should be called, "Next Stop Neville" and will star Alan Arkin, Jack Nicholson, Jane Fonda, and Angelica Huston.

Melissa McCarthy is a hilarious single gal going through treatment for breast cancer with her best gay friend by her side, played by Neil Patrick Harris. It will be called "Headlights", her character dies at the end, and Melissa McCarthy will win an Oscar for it...

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