Thursday, February 16, 2012

also, stand by for my endless series of trailers...

Eve and I met at the Apple Store at 8am this morning to take an Introduction to iMovie class. We share both an interest in making movies with all of the free software that comes with our Macs, and an interest in the weird experience a class at the Apple store was sure to be.

The service at Apple Stores is ridiculously wonderful. You might pay double for a laptop, but they make you feel so good about yourself! And also, you can take all kinds of free classes. Apple probably offers free cooking classes and Italian lessons ...just because.

I got there early because my juice cleanse officially ended last night and I woke up to eat a gluten-free vegan muffin at 6am. While waiting, I grabbed a cup of coffee and returned to the Apple Store to find Eve being turned away from the front door.

Oddly, we had to enter from some weird side door, where security had us waiting in a backroom hallway. All of the 500 people who cheerfully work there arrived for the day, excusing themselves past us. Finally, the woman who was in front of me at Starbucks walked in and was like, "You're customers?!? Why are you waiting? Come with me! I'm so sorry! Oh my God! You both are so attractive and funny! How mature of you to take an 8am class on bettering your understanding of your investment in technology!"

Or something like that.

We walked through the Apple Store where staff was cleaning up with big smiles on their faces, wearing snappy t-shirts that proclaimed, "Cleaning Crew" on the back. Upstairs, we sat in the lovely red velvet theater chairs, joining the class which had just begun. The only other classmate was an elderly man who was apparently a teacher, and wanted to learn iMovie so he could teach it to kids. Maybe even inner city kids who will go on to become great American filmmakers.

The Apple Store is like utopia. Steve Jobs' version of heaven is probably an Apple Store, just with him just hanging out, nodding approvingly. Mini-Jake Gyllenhaal taught us all about how to get started on iMovie while downstairs, it sounded like the staff was getting their pep talk for the day. Every 10 minutes or so, they'd break into applause.

I noticed that Mini-Jake was wearing a royal blue fleece with a little Mac logo embroidered on it. I want one of those. I want a pep talk. I want to be in a fantastic mood all fucking day long. I want to know all the fun little tools that come with my MacBook Pro. This morning, I learned how to make movie trailers OF MY OWN MOVIES! With credits and music and voiceovers.

You don't even need a Mac to take these classes. Anyone can take them. You just register online and they never checked us in anyway. You should take a class just to bask in the ridiculous glory of the Apple Store, which feels like getting a massage ON YOUR FEELINGS...

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